The latest raunchy comedy about the vagaries of modern relationships, "Good Luck Chuck" (Lionsgate), manages to be obnoxious, humorless and beyond the pale in its warped depiction of physical intimacy.

The movie's litany of explicit, often downright nauseating, sights and sounds could put unlucky viewers off romantic comedies for years to come and will definitely dissuade them from sampling anything in which stand-up comedian Dane Cook or Dan Fogler ("Balls of Fury") appear.

Cook plays dentist Chuck Logan and Fogler is his sidekick, Stu, a plastic surgeon responsible for many of the film's most unpleasant moments. Fans of "March of the Penguins" and "Happy Feet" won't appreciate how penguins are incorporated into the proceedings.

The only bright spot is Jessica Alba, who executes slapstick moves with an aplomb that suggests she deserves to be cast in more elevated comic fare. Almost anything would qualify.

Thanks to a hex put on 10-year-old Chuck in 1985, he's a steppingstone for women hoping to find Mr. Right. Every lady (using the term very loosely) he dates immediately meets the love of her life and settles down. Only when he encounters his own dream girl at a wedding does Chuck appreciate the implications of the curse. Klutzy Cam (Alba) runs the penguin exhibit at a local aquarium and he's reluctant to pursue her for fear she'll be propelled into the arms of her ideal man.

First-time director Mark Helfrich can't make the scenario flow, although the movie has obviously been chopped up in the editing room and then pieced back together. One shudders to imagine what the DVD version will entail.

The film contains dozens of sexual encounters and pervasive explicit banter, frequent rough, crude and crass language, masturbation, bathroom humor, drug use, rear male nudity and numerous shots of upper female nudity. The USCCB Office for Film & Broadcasting classification is O -- morally offensive. The Motion Picture Association of America rating is R -- restricted. Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.

Movies have been evaluated by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishop's Office for Film and Broadcasting according to artistic merit and moral suitability. The reviews include the USCCB rating, the Motion Picture Association of America rating, and a brief synopsis of the movie.

The classifications are as follows:

• A-I -- general patronage;
• A-II -- adults and adolescents;
• A-III -- adults;
• A-IV**
• L -- limited adult audience, films whose problematic content many adults would find troubling. L replaces the previous classification, A-IV.
• O -- morally offensive.